On the darkest moments of my life I was lost into a deep sorrow, the one I loved harden its heart and strayed away from me to dwell in the arms of a strange woman, I was falling apart in painfull cry, black tears stained my face, I was trying hard to hide the pain behind my long hair, that deep cry would keep coming out of my heart, through that foggy sight of my wet eyes i saw your sight over me, than i saw you looking at me with empathy and tears almost flowing out of your beautiful eyes, It was embarrassing to see that you were right beside me witnessing the humilliation of my broken heart; that tender expression on your face and that loud silence was precious, I felt safe to be me and dont be judged, your presence was so pleasant. Despite the hurt I was still looking at invisible dreams, yearning for something and someone that didnt exist. That sunny summer was like winter to me, I was alone dreaming on something beautiful, looking at every direction to find him coming back but he wasnt there, desapointed of my frustrated illusions I would see you close to me again and again, always happy, supportive, graceful, so cheerful, and I began to love you as my dearest brother, what a joy to see you every time. As painfull days and months went by my side looking for those lost dreams on his face, I decided to search for him and beg for his love, hoping to gain some of my broken dreams back, i degraded my soul crowing back to him to live in that place that I wanted to believe to be my home, but it was ruled by his mistres, he was her slave, and I was his, my vows with him were just a piece of paper without value at his eyes and I was committed to that, to him his vows actually belonged to that strange woman based on secret promises. I felt like an abandoned hungry dog eating out of garbage, I was having the left overs from pigs that were eating everything on my table, I was restricted from my rights to love and being love, everything that I thought I had wasnt mine, he gave it to her. That crude reality was slowly killing me, desperate I ran away back into my own world of blank sheets of papers and colors, i wanted to touch the unexistence beauty, trapped into a cage I was trying to find confort on my dreams once again and more lonely than ever, this time you werent there, I was missing your joyful presence, those happy moments when I felt your warmth care and sweet smile, you my dear friend like a brother. I did search for you but this time you didnt want to talk to me, since i got back to slavery you turned your eyes away from me, you were so cold, I didnt understand why, you were to me that beautiful brother that I loved so much, why wouldnt you see it? I felt like I fail to you in a way but it was hard to comprehend. Years went by away from you, and I couldnt ever forget you, I was angry with you because of your cold attitude and distance, I missed you. One day I heard your name again, that you got someone special and also you were coming back to town. It was nice to know about you after all these years, for some reason I wasnt happy about that one special and I wanted to ignore it. That was hard to accept and I felt sad. Over all those years I would hear nice comments about you, how much people loved you, how special you were for many, everywhere I turned it was always someone talking about you praising your person, but now that you were coming back, your good reputation was louder, I felt happy as well at least just to see you, even if it would be far away and with someone else. I felt devastated in a way, I really felt that I had lost my dear brother, I knew that time have changed and things would never be the same. Meanwhile I was still carrying that heavy load of pain and loneliness beside a man who proved to be so cruel and selfish over and over, still was begging him for love, I was crying alone, he wouldnt even let me touch him, I couldnt even kiss him, I was just resignated to be an outsider on his life but living with him, but as the time went by I began to be as garbage for him no worth of a roof, as he left me on the street with nothing, later after a strange woman laughed at me and declared victory over that separation, as once again she was there taking control of him and our so call home as he granted that right to her. This time the end of our marriage is permanent. Yes, I felt more humiliated than ever, so ashamed of my self, I felt like my dreams were just on his hands and that he just destroyed them; I felt without any value. But again under that condition I see you coming alone back in town, right on the time when I was falling appart again, I was soooo happy to see my dear brother, than as soon as I see your eyes I was trying to find back my brother, but that brother wasnt there anymore, he was gone, and I felt confuse. I spend days and nights trying to understand your eyes and my self. Soon after memories came back on my mind, your anger in the past was loud on my head, I just understood something that might explain your attitude at that time, I just realized that you are real, you are not a dream, those sweet eyes, that beautiful smile, isnt my brother, its just the one who I had being dreaming about all this time long. I never noticed it, I was so lost searching on the wrong places. You actually seem to realize the same as me until now as well, we cant ignore to acknowledge those beautiful feelings of love toward each other, we cant avoid to see that beautiful reality, as now is the time when you are coming out of my dreams.
